Dealing With Grief and Loss - Does Time Heal?

It was one year ago today, one of the greatest men I have ever had the privilege of knowing left this world. He was my father in law, a great friend, and an incredible human being. Taken from us far too soon at the young age of 65, his passing left a great big hole in the hearts of family and friends. He lost his battle with that horrible and dreaded disease, Cancer. With this in mind, today I want to celebrate Frank as a person, his life and all that he gave everyone he touched.

This past year has been a tough one for sure, trying to deal with the loss of my father in law, my wife dealing with the loss of her father, my daughters dealing with the loss of their grandfather and of course my mother in law trying to cope with the loss of her husband. We are all dealing with loss and I don’t think any of us, including me, have really properly dealt with the overwhelming grief which comes along with losing a loved one.

I can’t believe it has been a year since we last saw his face or heard his voice. Where does the time go? Not being able to just pick up the phone and call just to chat has been one of the hardest things to deal with. My wife says to me she wishes that he could return to us just once a year for a day. Wouldn’t that be great? Would just once a year be enough to suffice the loss of a loved one? Wouldn’t it leave you wanting more than just one day? Of course we all know that’s not possible but a nice thought nonetheless.

I know he wouldn’t want us to be sitting around grieving his passing. I can hear him in my head saying: you have to carry on and go forward with your life. So, the best thing to do in my opinion is to keep all those wonderful memories stored in the memory bank and replay them again and again in my head when I am feeling down or missing him. Speaking to someone about it helps as well although nothing will ever take away the pain of losing someone as close as a parent or family member. To all of you out there who have lost a loved one, parent, child, friend, or relative, stay strong and keep those memories close because NOBODY can ever take that from you! I do believe whole heartedly that time does heal and eventually will take the edge off the pain and make things bearable bit by bit.

Pops, I will keep replaying those memories of laughs with you and our late night conversations over a few beers after everyone else has gone to bed. You were one of a kind, that’s for sure. You will FOREVER and ALWAYS remain in my heart and mind. You are greatly loved and sorely missed.

In Memoriam - Losing a Loved One

This post has absolutely nothing to do with photography, art or business for that matter. I just felt compelled to write down my thoughts on my way into work this morning on the subway. You see, the past few weeks have probably been some of the toughest I have ever had to endure in my life.

Just over a week ago, I lost someone very near and dear to me. My father in law passed away last week after a long hard fought battle with cancer. Yes that horrible C word that has touched and affected most everybody’s life in one way or another. Over the past few weeks my father in law had been entrenched in a horrible battle with mortality. He was fairly sick but everything seemed to happen so damn fast and completely unexpected in terms of how quickly things progressed.

He was a great man, had a personality that lit up the entire room and when you met him, you instantly liked him. He was just one of those people with an infectious personality. When he spoke you could hear his loud booming voice all the way over on the other side of the room. Family was everything to him, the cornerstone of life and in the end that was what he held on for in those last days of his life. Frank was taken from us long before he should have been and we the surviving family members and friends are left to pick up the pieces and carry on with life. That’s the peculiar or funny thing about death, the living are affected by it far worse as they are the ones left behind to grieve and deal with the finality of it all.

Although there is a huge void in our lives which he once filled, I know he wouldn’t want any of us to hurt or mourn the way we are right now because he is not suffering any more. He would want us to carry on with our lives, go about our business but remember him for the amazing man he was while he was with us.

So Pops (as I liked to call him) as I finish writing this in your honor, I promise you I will carry on with you always and forever in my heart and mind. I can assure you with all certainty that I will take good care of your daughter Mary (my wife), your granddaughters Nicole and Julia and of course Mom (mother in law) for you. You have my word on this!

You are sadly missed Pops and there will NEVER EVER be another one like YOU! Love ALWAYS and FOREVER your friend, your son in law, your son!